the third person in my relationships – Bipolar

That annoying feeling when there is a third person who just wont leave your relationship, come on we have all been there; well safe to say mine is not the jealous ex, but the disorder which both controls and dictates my life – Bipolar.

I have a hard time trying to navigate my emotions ( and I don’t just mean that time of the month) that consequently makes forming sustainable and healthy relationships so impossible, that building a zoo on the middle of Mars is more likely.

The problem is you can pretty much guarantee one of two modes, firstly the overexcited ‘oh my god lets do everything now, coffee look here’s coffee I want some more coffee do you, lets go bungee jumping, followed by skiing and then follow it of by reading all of Maya Angelou’s poetry in one night?’ (okay so guys I cant blame you for that one). Secondly theirs the even less appealing, lets stay in bed for fourteen hours, shut down and maybe if I don’t talk, and I mean not a word, stay in absolute silence all of this will go away and I might just finally dissapear.

Hyper-mania is terrifying because your the only one who is unable to see how bad you really are ( say what!? you cant go off and sleep with random strangers on a night out despite knowing them for a whole 5 minutes, what about walking along a line roofs with your eyes closed).

I read a brilliant car metaphor on a young mans blog and honestly the only way I can describe it is , its “like going at 100 miles per hour down a 20” however I would also add with no breaks or stops.Β It is hard to find someone who is prepared to go at that speed and in turn, stay around to hold that same girl, only covered in blood and scars, let alone ever commit to loving her.

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5 thoughts on “the third person in my relationships – Bipolar

  1. These are hard things to deal with and my husband (whom I have known for 5 years) is still not grasping that my anxiety is a mental illness and will not just go away even though I control it well. That actually seems to make it worse at times I feel like I was out of control all the time maybe he would get it better, lol. However, they do accept you as the person they love and will fight through the relapses because the person you are even if you are ill. He also had to learn to battle a new illness that I was developed a few months just before our wedding Myasthenia Gravis…so I would say he’s doing pretty well not to turn heel and run, LOL.

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    1. It makes me really happy to know that your husband is as supportive as he is πŸ™‚ just remember it is very difficult for people to fully comprehend how suffocating and time consuming having an illness can be. I am glad you too seem happy πŸ™‚

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      1. Thank you and I had to learn to be happy on my own before I could be happy with him.But that was me. Plus it did not hurt that I am also a mental health counselor in addition to having mental illness I see it from both sides. It’s kind of cool.

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